THE PLACES WE GO WHEN WE HURT

Where do we go when we are hurting? We have many choices. Sometimes we shut down and at other times we give ourselves permission to feel our feelings even if it's uncomfortable. In our Self-Care Tuesday Group, we talked about how to tend to ourselves, allow our feelings. and set boundaries

Trusting

When feelings arise, the opportunity is to allow them to move and  trust the process. It can feel really challenging to allow big feelings of sadness, Grief, despair, and anguish to be fully felt. It might seem like these feelings are going to swallow you up. They won't. The more you give yourself space to feel, the more you expand your capacity to feel whatever arises. You can also trust that something deeper--call it Love or Grace is holding you as you open to feeling your emotions.

Allowing

It's a big deal to affirm that it's OK not to be OK. Give yourself permission to feel rather than pretending you're OK when you're not. Pretending takes a lot of energy and can be exhausting. Eventually, it may become a pattern that leads to self-betrayal.

Find comfort

As a Raregiver, it's essential to find a community of people who get you. When you do, you can take comfort in not having to explain yourself or deal with insensitive comments about your Rare child. Trust yourself and only share with people who can really understand where you're at. Raregivers know that we each have our path.

Boundaries

If a neighbor of yours makes an offhand comment about your Rare child, and says something like, "Oh, your child has Autism, right?" Clarify that your child does not have autism and recognize that this neighbor is not attuned and that this is a person with whom you can only go so far.

Say No to engaging with people who are unable or unwilling to meet you where you are. Self-care is saying no when you mean no because when you do this, you are saying yes to yourself.

An exploration

You might examine the ways that you are saying yes to yourself in your life. Give yourself permission to say no. Be curious about what you discover.

Coming up next week: The Places we Go When Things Don’t Go as Planned

The paradox of living is feeling like if we have things planned out, we can just possibly avoid anything uncomfortable. Somehow we have convinced ourselves this just might work. But when it doesn’t it can bring up frustration, disappointment, regret and even resignation. This can be a calling to a new place of acknowledgement, expectation or even imagination, if we let it. Come explore the flexibility and freedom that are possible when things don’t go as planned.

Please Join Us

You may not realize how much you need the Angel Aid community until you find it.

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We look forward to being with you soon.