SHIFTING RESPONSIBILITIES

This week the topic for our Self-Care Tuesday group was Stage 3 on the emotional journey map, which is known as "Shifting Responsibilities." We explored the feelings that came up when your responsibilities shifted and you experienced big life changes. If you think back, what did you do and were you overwhelmed? As a raregiver, you become the advocate, researcher and much more for your Rare child and it's very easy to lose yourself. You may feel resigned to being your Rare child's mom rather than a person with an individual identity.

Fear

One of the most common emotions that comes up for raregivers is fear. One of our regular participants expressed it this way, “ I experienced fear because I didn't know what to expect, due to not having a diagnosis or treatment.  Curiosity...wondering if I was ever going to be able to find myself again.  Overwhelmed...with emotions, appointments, actual caregiving, and any other "parental duties." Can you relate?

Other people's ideas

Many raregivers have spoken about how they were impacted by other people's opinions, especially at the beginning of the journey. Some have even spoken about how the people in their church didn't understand at all and said, "just read this book and you'll be fine.” This is shocking and yet, it actually happens. Maybe you even have a spouse or another family member who believes in corporal punishment and who thought that if you just hit your child, they would behave "normally" which, of course, is absolutely not true.

Becoming an advocate

You become an advocate for your Rare child and you continue to be patient with yourself and others because you have no choice. Parenting is a lifetime commitment. You might even tell yourself that you must be selfless and that your Rare child's needs come first which they do in a life and death situation. That said, thankfully not every moment is a life and death situation. It can be very difficult to keep up daily self-care and you can do it. Take small sips of self-care, walks, savoring a cup of tea or reading a book for a few minutes. You matter. Tell yourself, "I'm going to do this because it's for me.”

Coming up next week: How Caregiving Impacts The Wheel Of Life

How are you spending your time and is it working for you to nourish you as a human being who is also a Raregiver? Typically, time and satisfaction correlate, but not always with a Raregiver. As a Raregiver, you could be spending too much time and energy on family and not enough in other areas, creating an unbalanced wheel of life.. Let’s make note of the places where you may feel somewhat out of balance and hone in on where you can use your resources more wisely and where you need to ask for help. This will be a powerful session where you will discover things about yourself and learn how to implement new ways of being that will support you as a whole person.

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We look forward to being with you soon.